


Tequila Tastes Too Much Like You

by Saral_Hylor



Category: The Losers (Comic)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Jensen Feels, M/M, Not coping, Past Relationship(s), Swearing, Text Messages, Text messages never sent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 14:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saral_Hylor/pseuds/Saral_Hylor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fifteen text messages Jensen never sent to Cougar</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tequila Tastes Too Much Like You

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was heavily inspired by [15 Texts I Almost Sent You by d.a.s.](http://backshelfpoet.tumblr.com/post/68248424702/1-i-left-my-favorite-pair-of-underwear-at-your)
> 
> Thanks to [quandong_crumble](http://archiveofourown.org/users/quandong_crumble/pseuds/quandong_crumble) for the beta and the sobbing and dying as I actually text her each of these messages.

1. 

  
I dreamt of you last night. Again. I think it technically counts as a nightmare 'cause it hurts so much.   
I wish you'd get out of my head.   
[delete]

 

* * *

 

2. 

  
I got drunk and hacked the pentagon again.   
Think maybe this time they'll catch me.   
I always do stupid things when you aren't around.   
[delete]

 

* * *

 

3. 

  
Your sister called again today. Not me, she called Jess. You used to roll your eyes when I said they were plotting against us together, but now I just think they talk about us. Jess is worried about me. Maybe Solana is too.   
Do you worry about me?   
[delete]

 

* * *

  
4. 

  
I don't think I ever loved you. We didn't do those sorts of emotions, did we?   
I don't think I love you. But it hurts so much that it had to have been pretty fucking close.  
[delete]

 

* * *

 

5. 

  
I don't even want to drink anymore. Tequila tastes too much like you. But everything else tastes like cheating.  
It's been six months now and I don't think I know how to be sober anymore.   
[delete]

 

* * *

 

6. 

  
Saw this chick wearing a hat like yours today.   
I wanted to burn it.   
Looks better on you anyway.   
[delete]

 

* * *

7. 

  
So it turns out they didn't catch me. Not that you'd care. Probably think it's time I came unstuck and got arrested.   
Wonder how that'd go, since, you know, we're supposed to be dead.   
Can they even arrest a dead man?   
[delete]

 

* * *

8. 

  
I hate you. I'm pretty sure that is all I feel towards you right now. It's been eight months and twenty seven days and I still can't get you out of my head. I think I hate you. Only because it's better than still loving you.   
[delete]

 

* * *

9. 

  
Most of all I think I just miss you.   
[delete]

 

* * *

10. 

  
There's a hole in my chest the size of fucking Mexico. And I'm pretty sure it is all your fault, you bastard.   
How does this hurt more than getting shot?   
[delete]

 

* * *

11. 

  
I tried being sober. I think I made it a week. It's all a blur now. I stayed awake too long and drank too much coffee instead. It might have been a week. But then I gave up. Being sober just makes it more obvious that you aren't here.    
Do you miss me as much as I miss you?  
[delete]

 

* * *

 

12. 

  
Sol called again. I finally managed to talk to her.   
I think she hates me. No. I wished she hated me. I hate me. I let you go. I shouldn't have done that.   
[delete]

 

* * *

 

13. 

  
It finally happened. I got sick of my own company. Imagine that hey?   
I went out, for the first time in what feels like forever. I think I forgot how to function in society. Bet you're rolling your eyes, because you know as well as I do that I never knew how to in the first place.   
There was this guy at the bar, he smelt like you. That was the only reason I went back to the hotel with him. He smelt like you, but he wasn't you. I just closed my eyes and tried to pretend.   
It didn't work. I left before anything happened.  
It's been eleven months, thirteen days and twenty three hours and I still don't know how to be with anyone except you.   
[delete]

 

* * *

 

14. 

  
It's been a year. Pooch says I need to let you go. Not forget you. Not get over you. Just stop holding on so tight to a memory.   
I don't think he gets how impossible that is.   
How am I supposed to let you go when I never even had the chance to bury you?  
[delete]

 

* * *

 

15. 

  
Why didn't you wait for me? I was coming back.   
[delete]


End file.
